Speak Up Until They Cannot Ignore You
The idea of this write up came when I was at the dentist on Monday morning. Monday mornings in Kenya are currently referred to as “MaandamanoMondays” because we have been convinced that all our issues can be solved by protesting every Monday and Thursday. Unlike normal weekday mornings, the roads this morning were very clear. Not a lot of people were moving around. Nobody wanted to be caught in the middle of a protest.
I didn't care - I had to go to the dentist. I wasn’t even sure if they would open the clinic. Open or not, I was not coming home with a misaligned jaw. I would rank the pain and discomfort that this has brought me right up there with childbirth and recovery. This comparison is coming from someone who has laboured for 24hrs, undergone two c-section, one of them having a very tricky recovery.
The pain in my jaw was my fault.
I had come for a filling on the previous Saturday. Two of my crowns had holes in them which would result in bigger issues later on if they weren't filled.
Side note-why are fake teeth forming holes? I thought getting crowns would be the end of my teeth problems 🤷🏾♀️
I had also brought my daughter in for her first appointment and that went as well as you can imagine it did. There was a whole lot of screaming but her teeth were given a clean bill of health. Since I knew how difficult that visit was for her, I didn't want us to spend anymore time than necessary.
So when the dentist finished up filling my crown, he asked me if my mouth was comfortable. I said yes.
I was lying. I could clearly feel a high point on the tooth with the filling but I convinced myself that he knew what he was doing and I just need to adjust to the new filling in my mouth.
We left, went out for lunch and by the time we got home I knew I had made a mistake. My jaw wasn't going to fix itself no matter how hard I bit the filling to make it go down. They just don’t work that way.
I had the opportunity to speak up after the procedure but I decided not to.
I cannot even use my daughter as the excuse because waiting ten extra minutes to fix my teeth would not have made a big difference to her.
I remember rinsing my mouth and thinking that I didn't want to bother these doctors with such a tiny issue once they were done. I was the one with the sick tooth and I just have to deal with it. I left the clinic, paid them a whole lot of money knowing fully well that I was not comfortable.
This is not the first time I haven’t spoken up when I was uncomfortable. I do it more often than I am proud of. We all have those moments where you are sitting in a salon watching your stylist brutally butcher your hair and you say absolutely nothing. In fact, you smile and compliment their work.
I need to learn how to speak up. I find myself getting very mad when I see opportunities slip by me simply because I did not speak up. I let things I don’t like happen around me because I do not want to make people uncomfortable.
What about me? I allow myself to suffer.
I had to gamble going into town to fix my teeth because I could no longer stand the pain. My jaw refused to find a new home. I had a headache that no painkiller could fix. I forgot how to close my mouth normally. Protests or not, I was going to be at that clinic as soon as the opened.
There is a lot that has been happening this past week that has made me come to the realisation that I am done being quiet. Suffering is not something that I will inflict on myself anymore. I am here to take my space, and take it proudly.
I will not let anyone ignore me.
Most importantly, I will not ignore myself anymore.
From the podcast: My Three Year Old Takes Charge
In the spirit of speaking for yourself, the latest story on the podcast shares a harrowing account from Valentine where her three year old toddler had to take care of her as she suffered immeasurable pain from a hernia in her abdomen. After this account, she had to speak up and get doctors to take her seriously and fix the hernia because the pain made her physically incapacitated , something you do not want to be when you are taking care of a toddler and a newborn
Trying to figure out what curriculum to enrol your child in?
It is about that time for us to figure out what school and most importantly curriculm to enrol my daughter in. I have been avoiding this for quite sometime because we still have a aways to go and to be honest, I don’t know who I am meant to make the right choice.
I know a lot of parents are finding themselves in this same conundrum but worry not, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Zain, the amazing human being behind Playroom Ke is launching a series that will help parents like you and me learn more about our options and pick the best one for our families.
The first curriculum to explore in this series is Waldorf - something that I only heard about recently. You are invited to join four day camp for kids and end with a caregivers workshop that will take you through the Waldorf way.
Check out this post for details on what to expect, cost and how to register. Please note that there are limited slots, so don’t wait around.
Did you enjoy this newsletter? Consider sharing it with a friend or two. You can also let me know what you think about what I have shared by replying to this. I would love to chat.
